Sideways Thinking and Changing of Plans
As some of you may know, I was going to work over the next year to get myself ready to go back to school. I was planning on going for a civil engineering degree or something like that. It looks like that may not be the path for me, as the Universe keeps making clear to me.
One of the things I have learned recently is that I seem to have come down with a slight case of the MS. That is, Multiple Sclerosis, for those not down and hip with the current lingo. This may or may not have been causing the migraines that I have been having. That might be a separate thing that has just been exacerbated by the angry lesion (my neurologist's words not mine) on my brain.
Another thing I have learned is that I seem to have lost the ability to perform basic arithmetic as a result of this (as well as having messed up my vision, having dizziness, disorientation, pain in my left leg and hip, stabbing eye pain from the optic neuritis, bowel issues, dropping stuff... fuck this list is depressing). Well, I have been working on getting that math back. My addition is coming back fairly well. I am having problems with subtraction still. I am having active troubles remembering my multiplication tables for 4,6,7,8,11,12+. Long division is worse. I remember *how* to do it. I just keep doing it *wrong*.
I have been doing my best to drill in the tables like I used to when I first learned them. To do so has been actively giving me headaches and I am forgetting them almost as soon as I "learn" them again. It's getting depressing. I feel as though I am doing nothing more than butting my head up against a wall without any positive effect whatsoever.
However, a change in cognition that hasn't been *all* horrible is that my creativity has been boosted. I have been remembering how to draw and have been experimenting with my VisTablet attachment to my computer. I am re-learning how to draw and play with color while learning how to use the GIMP software. I am proving that I can learn and retain information that way. I have been writing more, and, quite frankly, I think my writing has gotten better, overall (btw, I haven't been sharing everything with the class. Not everything that I write is for public consumption, contrary to popular opinion.).
My idea machine has been working, though. It's exciting and since I have some time on my hands while tests and treatments are happening, I will see if I am able to implement it. It will tie into the jewelry and fashion stuff. What's even better is that it starts off with minimal monetary investment. :) I just have to learn something new, and if I can manage that, it may go a ways towards helping me with the arithmetic, since it is a practical application of its use. I think of it as *different* way to force my brain to do what the fuck I want it to.
It's time to come at the problem sideways, since the head-on approach is only giving me a migraine, which is just getting old.
However, I don't know if the original plans that I had laid to go for the engineering degree will work, not with the way my brain is getting hit with the lesions. It's true that no one can plan for how MS will effect a person, though. I will just have to see how things go in the next year. There are cognitive therapies available, as my husband has gone through great lengths over the last few days to make painfully apparent to me. I will have to take advantage of those, I think.
I do plan to go back to school, but I may have to re-think what I want to go back *for*. Unfortunately, the strengths that the Universe has seen fit to play up with this cosmic game of MS darts are not exactly the most marketable on the planet.
Sideways thinking: I get to exercise it. I may even have to break out the diagonal, vertical, underground, and transdimensional thinking. However, one could argue against the transdimensional as the type of thinking that might have caused the lesions in the first place.
As some of you may know, I was going to work over the next year to get myself ready to go back to school. I was planning on going for a civil engineering degree or something like that. It looks like that may not be the path for me, as the Universe keeps making clear to me.
One of the things I have learned recently is that I seem to have come down with a slight case of the MS. That is, Multiple Sclerosis, for those not down and hip with the current lingo. This may or may not have been causing the migraines that I have been having. That might be a separate thing that has just been exacerbated by the angry lesion (my neurologist's words not mine) on my brain.
Another thing I have learned is that I seem to have lost the ability to perform basic arithmetic as a result of this (as well as having messed up my vision, having dizziness, disorientation, pain in my left leg and hip, stabbing eye pain from the optic neuritis, bowel issues, dropping stuff... fuck this list is depressing). Well, I have been working on getting that math back. My addition is coming back fairly well. I am having problems with subtraction still. I am having active troubles remembering my multiplication tables for 4,6,7,8,11,12+. Long division is worse. I remember *how* to do it. I just keep doing it *wrong*.
I have been doing my best to drill in the tables like I used to when I first learned them. To do so has been actively giving me headaches and I am forgetting them almost as soon as I "learn" them again. It's getting depressing. I feel as though I am doing nothing more than butting my head up against a wall without any positive effect whatsoever.
However, a change in cognition that hasn't been *all* horrible is that my creativity has been boosted. I have been remembering how to draw and have been experimenting with my VisTablet attachment to my computer. I am re-learning how to draw and play with color while learning how to use the GIMP software. I am proving that I can learn and retain information that way. I have been writing more, and, quite frankly, I think my writing has gotten better, overall (btw, I haven't been sharing everything with the class. Not everything that I write is for public consumption, contrary to popular opinion.).
My idea machine has been working, though. It's exciting and since I have some time on my hands while tests and treatments are happening, I will see if I am able to implement it. It will tie into the jewelry and fashion stuff. What's even better is that it starts off with minimal monetary investment. :) I just have to learn something new, and if I can manage that, it may go a ways towards helping me with the arithmetic, since it is a practical application of its use. I think of it as *different* way to force my brain to do what the fuck I want it to.
It's time to come at the problem sideways, since the head-on approach is only giving me a migraine, which is just getting old.
However, I don't know if the original plans that I had laid to go for the engineering degree will work, not with the way my brain is getting hit with the lesions. It's true that no one can plan for how MS will effect a person, though. I will just have to see how things go in the next year. There are cognitive therapies available, as my husband has gone through great lengths over the last few days to make painfully apparent to me. I will have to take advantage of those, I think.
I do plan to go back to school, but I may have to re-think what I want to go back *for*. Unfortunately, the strengths that the Universe has seen fit to play up with this cosmic game of MS darts are not exactly the most marketable on the planet.
Sideways thinking: I get to exercise it. I may even have to break out the diagonal, vertical, underground, and transdimensional thinking. However, one could argue against the transdimensional as the type of thinking that might have caused the lesions in the first place.
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