As I get older, I start to realize
Why people adopt religion
Or allow religion to adopt them
And rule in their lives.
I have looked up above me
Searching for direction
As dark times threaten
To swallow me whole
And I have felt the call
To be one of the sheep
Allowing the deity to take me
Turn me into one of the followers
Calling for my surrender
To surrender the power of my belief
Adding to the fuel in the fire
Of the flames of the masses.
I have felt the call
Deep inside me
Where the darkness of despair lay.
A seductive voice that whispers
Give it all to me, and I will make it better.
All I demand is your will, your life, your choice
Obey my rules, and everything will be fine.
All that was asked is that I sacrifice on the altar
Everything that makes me happy.
To conform to the desires of a being who,
If they actually cared, would accept me as I am
And not demand I change my very being.
The being that is claimed to have been made
In the image of that very God…
I have felt the call in the pits of despair.
And I have walked out the other side.
My head is held high and I say:
Fuck you.
3/22/2011
This poem was written on the heels of a depression that I was coming out of. I had been having people (various family and friends) try to convince me that religion was the answer to my problems. It's nice that they have found solace in the embrace of their Lord and God (or Gods, or Goddesses...). That path is not for me. My answers are sought within myself, not by some word written by men (or women) who claim to speak for (the) God(s).
I feel that everyone has a right to their path. I am a non-deist. I worship none of them, and wish only to stumble along my way. Perhaps it is the hard way, but it is *my* way and the way that is the most right for me. To do otherwise would be to lie to myself, and I struggle every day not to do that. Self-deception is a sweet poison, and I have tasted enough of it to know that it is addictive.
Perhaps I deceive myself even now.
Nothing is certain. Everything is fluid. Life only becomes static when one dies...
As the great Black Knight shouts, "I'm not dead yet! Get back here!"
2 comments:
You have many valid points, and I am personally proud that you have thought your decisions through. I believe in the Universe, that the Creator of the Universe will take care of my needs, even when I am in dire straights like I am now, I still believe.
Sometimes I wish I were like you, Becca. Independent of such need for the hope of a higher being. But, alas, I have found my solice in the Creator for my whole life.
I'm glad I was able to contribute to your life of independence.
Your Mother.
Well, I am glad you helped too. I am also glad you find strength and solace where you do. I just have never found those things there. ::hugs::
I look to the Universe to provide as it has a chance to, and I struggle to leave myself open to the possibilities. I don't always succeed, but I occasionally trip over opportunities.
The tough part is keeping an open mind, recognizing the opportunity when it's there, and not being overly fearful to grasp it, all the while keeping in reserve a healthy respect for the risks...
::hugs:: I am going to attempt to sleep now.
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